Searching: A Movie

How well do you know your kid?

You might know very well, that’s probably your answer. You meet him/her everyday. Of course you know him/her. You know what his/her favorite breakfast is, you know how sloppy he/she is about his/her laundry, and you know he/she always seek for grandparents’ approval (for extra allowance) for anything when you don’t give one. You know him/her that well!

But then look it this way, how much time in that day, that you really meet your kid? One to two hours before school, and then six to seven hours after school - you don’t count his/her sleeping hours, tho. That makes it nine hours. Nine hours times six days is fifty four. Add weekend to your calculation, if he/she doesn’t have any plan outside the house then it’ll add up to sixteen hours. So you only got seventy hours per week, facing your kid. And you don’t even talk that long. You probably have that quality time with him/her one to three hours per day. That makes twenty something hours per week. What does your kid do while he/she doesn’t talk to you? Do you know his/her friends? Off line or on line?

This is surely what makes a big question for parents (especially when they have teenagers in household) after watching this movie: Searching.

(In this you won’t find a common review about the movie, I just want to share my feeling towards it here).

Mengaji (Di Dunia Nyata)

Adab dulu, baru ilmu.

Kalimat ini sedang sering terngiang di telinga kita baru-baru ini. Ketika semakin banyak orang yang hijrah (alhamdulillah!) namun dampak hijrahnya ini berbeda-beda satu dan yang lainnya. Yang hijrah kemudian mengajak orang lain, banyak! Yang hijrah kemudian meneliti dosa orang lain, juga banyak! Bahkan dosa seorang ustadz yang bukan gurunya seperti yang ramai diperbincangkan kemarin. Tidak segan kita menguliti orang yang berbeda dengan kita tanpa ampun. Padahal edukasi tentang toleransi sudah diajarkan sejak SD. Budaya "main hakim sendiri" yang biasa disandingkan untuk orang-orang pelaku pengeroyokan saat ini sudah bergeser dari dunia nyata ke dunia maya: netizen. Kedoknya sama: hijrah. Bedanya, pengeroyokan di dunia nyata bisa bikin mati secara fisik. Kepada pencopet, kepada yang disangka pencopet, dan sejenisnya. Sedangkan di dunia maya, bikin mati secara psikis. Masa sih, hijrah malah membuat orang jadi hakim instan?

Practicing Granny Pictures. Color pencil on plain paper by me.

Amit-amit, yak.

Tapi ini 'kan menyampaikan kebenaran! Kilahnya. Ya anda sendiri, menyampaikan kebenaran dengan cara melukai perasaan orang, bahkan cenderung merundung (bully), menurut anda itu sudah benar? Eh tapi dialog ini 'gak beneran terjadi kok. Hasil menyimak juga. Hasil menghakimi juga. Hakim-ception. Hah!

It's Not A Restart Even If You Thought So

When I first announce my resignation, people were like,

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that", - yeah, you must.

"Is this a husband's order?", - enough to that. You don't know him.

"Why don't you be grateful? Your resignation means you have no gratitude," - actually, resignation is a form of my gratitude over my situation at the moment. And as to 'anything good for one person is not always good for another person' so call me a snob, but I didn't buy this.

"Be patient, money is not everything", - this kind of an insult.

And among those sorry comments, I hear one good support,

"Good decision! Insya Alloh you won't regret". (And mostly this came from the "husbands" employee - yeah, in my former workplace there's a lot LDR husbands located far from their spouse) - many thanks!

Menjadi salah satu panitia acara CIP pada bulan-bulan terakhir bekerja di Palembang.

The worst comment?

"You'll probably restart everything." - silence. This needs a long answer. As in this post.

A Very Married Woman (& Man)

If I get married, I want to be very married.  - Audrey Hepburn.

Thus, perhaps one sentence proving women are obsessed with marriage. Or wedding. Ah, forgive me, it was probably not. It was probably only me who kind of obsessed with wedding - a decoration of marriage, I must say, but most importantly to tell people that me & a man who's name written on the invitation are legally connected & have rights to proliferate in advance - and used to make effort to attend a lot of wedding of my friends just because I love wedding. I love seeing the bride & the groom changing smile to each other all day long with those dreamy look in their eyes. I love seeing the parents all dressed up to celebrate their children's big day, with tears of joy & perhaps they screamed in their mind, like, "Finally!". I love the kids who played their role as "pager ayu", all dolled up in beautiful dresses and suites. I love the ijab-qobul happening followed by relieved sigh from the invitees. I love them all about wedding. 

And today is mine. I am attending mine. 

(Finally!)

The Day Of

"Saya terima nikahnya..."

Kalimat itu terngiang di telinga saya yang tepat berada di samping kiri laki-laki berjas hitam yang mengucapkannya dengan tegas dalam satu tarikan nafas di hadapan Bapak dan Pak Penghulu. Saya sendiri menahan nafas. Segera setelah laki-laki itu menyelesaikan kalimatnya, saya menghela nafas lega diiringi seruan "Sah!" dari para saksi. Kini laki-laki itu telah menjadi suami saya.