The Ghostwriter Part 2; Publish or Perish

If there's a part 2, then there must be a part 1 heheh. Well that part 1 was happened years ago, when I was still in the "will-work-for-food" phase (in the most desperate state) and doesn't need any attention to my actual entity. For example, I didn't sign my creation (or writing); means, I let people claimed it as theirs; means, no one knows it was me creating things. And then there were "but(s)" behind all these means. Here are the but(s): I was paid, They were nice, The situation didn't allowed me to do that (For example: I've just graduated, how would I write a doctoral thesis on my own, right?) and I was paid lol. So there was no problem about that, right? We made a deal! And because I learnt a lot by doing that so I didn't hate it. Being a ghostwriter was fun. Like being a secret agent.

WAS fun.

Until unfortunately, I found it was no longer exciting since I am in the real world now. Yes. I told people that one of my motto is "publish or perish" but at times, I'm too coward to take credits for everything. Have I told you that I once hid myself in the crowd when I was announced as a winner of something in high school and asked to get on to the stage, just because I didn't want to be seen - I was too shy (and coward). Okay that was the stage fright things and happen to be lost in sight nowadays (sometimes it happened again, displease everyone). What I'm talking about now is something deeper.

Originally seen on Marc Jacobs ad. Illustration on plain paper using inks and water color. Refined by Photoshop CC.

This is the situation where you create (or control, or think, or whatever) something but no one knows about it coming from you. And they do it on purpose while you don't. There are reasons behind it but it doesn't matter. Your name isn't worth to mention and they prefer you to stay anonymous. So you hid yourself again. Like a ghostwriter (or only "ghost"). Only this time, you don't mean it.

To explain the ambiguity-ish feeling resulted by this situation, I'll split myself into two persons.

Pulang, Sumedang

“Neng, pami ningal berita urug dina Tipi, omat kedah tenang, ibu sadayana aman nuju di Ponyo.” (1)

Neng yang mengangkat teleponnya pada 21 September dini hari itu dalam keadaan setengah tidur masih bingung mendengar ibunya berbicara di seberang sana. Suara ibunya terdengar panik, latar belakang suara masih ribut, samar ada suara hujan dan mobil serta suara laki-laki berteriak dengan menggunakan pengeras suara merek Toa. Rumah Neng jauh dari jalan raya. Jadi bagaimana maksudnya? Di Ponyo bagaimana maksudnya?

“Kumaha bu?” (2)

“Longsor Neng di Ciherang, seueurna mah Singkup bahkan Cimareme mah aya nu maot sagala. Tapi urang mah teu keuna da, aya sababaraha bumi tapi urang mah teu keuna. Ieu sadayana warga Ciherang nuju di Ponyo. Pangneleponkeun the Pipi nya piwarang jemput ibu..” (3)

Neng diam. Ini betulan? Bukan mimpi?

Sumber.

***

Jalur Bandung-Sumedang lumpuh total menyusul longsor yang menimbun jalan nasional di gerbang masuk kawasan Cadas Pangeran, Singkup, Desa Ciherang, Kecamatan Sumedang Selatan, Selasa (20/9/2016).

Longsor terjadi Selasa (20/9/2016) malam saat hujan mengguyur sejak pukul 18.00 WIB.

A Pep Talk for A (Potentially) Toxic Co-Worker

Can we really help the toxic people by giving them some (extra) effing empathy??

Fact check: being in a career-world for almost 5 years took me to realize that since I signed that contract, I have decided to drown myself into that cruel society, where friend(s) are rare things to find (if not nonexistent) and enemy(es) are growing in number (or ability!) as we climb to a higher place. No no, not that I have climbed higher place (yet) lol or got promoted whatsoever so I have enemies, no. I was tempted to say that, because I've looked around, analyzing the circumstances, terrified by that "war" that constantly takes place, and then I came into that conclusion. Scary... And if you think you have no enemy, uhm honey, you may think you have none, but probably some of your fellas slash co-workers have marked you as theirs.

Taken from The Intern, as I captured on my sketch book.

During my observation, I found this phrase, "the toxic co-worker" who put poison in your days and spread the hate every time they walk or speak. Do I have one? Or am I likely that one? IDK. But they are do exist in many forms. The one that annoys me too much is this ultra-cocky-playing-victim-empathy-beggar (what a phrase! lol). Yeah, we have (at least) that one co-worker who constantly upset because he/ she thinks that people are got them in a very wrong place, gaining followers by using his/ her sad sad rants while silently owning an ultra-huge self esteem, that he/ she thinks he/ she deserves better things (like wages? position?) than others.

What?? Ew! Right?

I've been struggling with one of those kinds of people and somehow it drives me nut, like, I hope I could change them or giving them my empathy (more like pep talks, actually) to make them less annoying, but man I was unsuccessful lol. Let's hope that we're not part of those cr*p. I mean, we have our insecurities and stuff but always keep in mind that not everything is for shared and that toxic is bad for your mental health! We started working usually at our 20s, I think it's mature enough to enter this world but those people do still exist.

About my version of that toxic co-worker(s), I have an analysis for each phrase mentioned above:

Revenge: Reviewed!

And so I've watched the Revenge TV series this whole week till they end and now I left in emptiness lol.

Like I said earlier, my hobbies are seasonal. I love drawing so much but after the last illustration, I haven't touch my drawing tools again ever since. This week theme is "movie mania". By movie I don't say the "movie" that has to be watched in the cinema, but they mostly watched in my laptop. Especially the TV movies from the international channel. They make me addicted. Okay you could just say that those are like "sinetron barat" but I tell you that they are very different from ours (wonder why!). The best thing I like about them is they know how exactly to keep us watching without making us boring. Also, they absolutely know how to end the series. I mean, how many of our "sinetron" began with a nice idea and nice plot but then as it keeps going, it started to be confusing until they finally cut it hanging without planning things right? Uhm..

My attempt to draw Victoria Grayson is failed. First, she's too young and chubby. Second, she's less vicious lol.

I actually watched Cinta Fitri before it ended up to be poorly crafted, and I was left confused, bored and disappointed :(

So now about Revenge. They came in 4 seasons, each has 23 episodes. I bought the first season DVDs since 2013 but only decided to watch it in 2015. And then I was so in love. At first it looked like an ordinary soap opera. But as it progressing, it became more and more interesting. And also, do you know that not many movies have a great heroine in it? This movie does. Emily Thorne is badass.

The story is about that very Emily Thorne, whose real name is Amanda Clarke, that has a big well-planned revenge plan towards The Grayson Family who has falsely accused her father, David Clarke, as a criminal responsible for the airplane crash while Emily still 9. Turns out that the airplane crash is a part of a big conspiracy. The revenge plan is so tidy, clever, and interesting (and also wicked) but somehow we'll always support it because The Graysons are evil-er. One by one, Emily took down everyone who took part in that conspiracy and wronged her family in the past. By took down, she did something wicked to make sure the villain got a miserable life.